Empower Yourself: Overcoming Mental Health Labels and Limitations
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Chapter 1: Understanding Mental Health Challenges
This article is not aimed at individuals with personality disorders. Such conditions can be managed with appropriate medication and mental health support, enabling those affected to lead fulfilling lives. However, they often require ongoing assistance from loved ones. It is essential for the community to extend patience and compassion towards those grappling with these challenges, particularly when they are actively seeking help.
It's also not meant to disparage those with diagnoses. I advocate for love, understanding, and respect for each person’s journey, as the timeline for healing varies widely. Yet, when someone chooses to reject support and creates turmoil in their life, firm boundaries become necessary—much like one would establish with an alcoholic or addict. If they're pursuing treatment, provide support; if not, the responsibility lies with them. While this may seem harsh, witnessing self-destruction is equally painful.
This discussion focuses on individuals who remain entrenched in their diagnoses and assert, "I can't." These are the people who struggle to recognize their own resilience, often clinging to the familiar discomfort of their situation rather than confronting the unknown.
It's a common misconception that therapists merely coddle their clients. Many perceive us as overly emotional individuals advocating for a collective embrace of kindness and understanding. This stereotype is misguided. We are trained professionals with extensive education and licensing requirements—three different levels for social workers and two for counselors. The training involves significant study and practical experience, culminating in rigorous examinations.
When I encounter those who stereotype therapists, it often indicates a fear of therapy and a reluctance to explore their own issues. I respect their journey, as long as it doesn’t harm others. However, when clients discuss their diagnoses with me, I always validate their experiences. Validation does not equate to condoning negative behavior; it acknowledges the genuine challenges they face, which are often greater than those experienced by individuals without such diagnoses.
As I work with clients, I continuously assess whether I agree with their diagnosis. In Idaho, a family doctor can diagnose and prescribe medication simultaneously, but while doctors excel at medication management, they may lack mental health expertise. The most effective treatment combines medication with therapy. Medications can alleviate symptoms, but they do not address the root issues, and without therapeutic support, clients may struggle indefinitely.
Once I’ve discussed how their diagnosis impacts their lives, I delve deeper into their personal histories. Clients often express sentiments like, "I’m depressed, so…" or "My mom has bipolar disorder, which is why I am this way." The most commonly heard excuse is, "I’m an empath."
This acceptance of negative behaviors, without the impetus for change, is concerning. Friends, family, and colleagues often inadvertently enable these behaviors, as it feels easier than confronting them.
Enabling Versus Empowering
Clients with mental health challenges require understanding and validation, which society often fails to provide adequately. However, there is a crucial distinction between enabling and empowering, and I hope to clarify this distinction to foster empowerment.
Enabling often masquerades as validation. According to the dictionary, validation means "recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile." Positive reinforcement holds more power than negative criticism; when we receive positive feedback, we are motivated to continue our behaviors.
Yet, validation does not imply agreement. It simply acknowledges the validity of a person's feelings based on their experiences. Unfortunately, many misconstrue validation as agreement, leading to conflicts when their beliefs are challenged. It becomes easier to accept the negative aspects of their diagnosis than to confront the underlying beliefs that enable their behavior.
Enabling occurs when we accept excuses for negative behavior and inadvertently support it. In contrast, empowering involves challenging these beliefs and assisting individuals in discovering their hidden strengths. We encourage them to detach from the limitations imposed by their diagnosis or circumstances.
Learned Helplessness Explained
Learned helplessness is a concept I approach with caution, as it can be misinterpreted and exploited for personal gain. I recall a documentary about the Sackler family that distorted this concept to evade accountability for the opioid crisis in America. This is not how Martin P. Seligman, Ph.D., intended learned helplessness to be understood.
Learned helplessness refers to a state where individuals believe they lack control due to prolonged exposure to adverse stimuli (abuse, neglect, mental health struggles). They may start to accept their situation as "natural," believing they cannot change it. While we cannot control others, we can control our responses to our circumstances. We must exercise patience with those who have experienced trauma while providing validation without reinforcing their belief in their powerlessness.
Reviving Strengths and Control
Having a diagnosis can be likened to having a physical limitation. For example, if someone has only one arm and is asked to make coffee, it will understandably take them longer than someone with full use of both arms. Similarly, when asking someone with depression to take a walk during a difficult episode, it requires significantly more effort than for someone without such struggles.
A good therapist aims to empower clients, helping them recognize and utilize their strengths. This task is not solely the therapist's responsibility; we can all contribute to empowering one another. Unless a task is physically impossible, the word "can't" should not be part of our vocabulary. Teaching individuals to express their emotions honestly helps them uncover their strengths.
For instance, if a client says, "I can't go to Costco on weekends because I might have a panic attack," I encourage them to reframe it as, "I choose not to go to Costco on weekends because I fear a panic attack might occur." Accepting "can't" as part of their narrative perpetuates learned helplessness.
It's entirely valid for someone to refrain from an activity due to fear; however, it's crucial to recognize that they are not incapable of doing it; they are merely apprehensive about the potential consequences. Encouraging clients to be honest with themselves is the first step toward gradual progress.
I urge everyone to assist others in recognizing their strengths. If we collectively foster self-belief, we can build a more supportive society. By empowering others with kindness and patience, we can inspire meaningful change.
Marianne Williamson, a revered spiritual leader and political activist, once articulated, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us." I resonate with this sentiment, witnessing it daily in my clients. I often express, "I wish you could see in yourself what I see in you." If they could, the word "can't" would cease to exist in their vocabulary.
Namaste.
The video titled "How to Fit and Use Crutches" provides helpful guidance for individuals needing crutches, offering practical tips for adjustment and usage.