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Finding Yourself Through Pages of Unfiltered Thoughts

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Chapter 1: The Journey of Self-Discovery

Who are you, really?

A collection of jumbled thoughts in a notebook

Photo by Hédi Benyounes on Unsplash

Countless pages filled with what might seem like nonsense—stories that fizzle out, jokes that fall flat, and doodles that remain enigmas in the graveyard of unrecognized art. Over the years, I’ve penned hundreds of articles, both published and unpublished, all in a quest to understand myself. Much of this work could be dismissed as subpar, yet reflecting on it, I realize it was never intended for an audience. This endeavor has always been personal.

Every piece I write serves as an exploration of my inner world. When I articulate thoughts on self-worth or love, I’m essentially writing to myself. Crafting a memoir, for instance, helps me process my experiences and traumas.

When I express ideas like “being your true self is acceptable” or “you deserve love,” I’m communicating with my own insecurities. These reflections, once shared, solidify my beliefs in my mind, affirming that it's okay to release those burdens.

My aspiration is that anyone who encounters these writings feels inspired to embark on a similar journey of self-discovery.

Recently, I came across an article by my friend Lara Starsearch discussing the pitfalls of offering unsolicited advice. It made me realize my aversion to self-help, despite the irony that writing about self-help can be more transformative than consuming it. Perhaps this is the essence of self-help: encouraging others to benefit from your own journey.

We often hesitate to produce subpar writing. Ironically, sometimes we need to sift through a lot of mediocre content—akin to crawling through a sewer—to unearth something valuable. That’s the purpose of journaling; it’s a collection of pages filled with unfiltered thoughts.

This is also the essence of platforms like Medium. It's the equivalent of putting in “junk miles” in running—it's about showing up and doing the work, regardless of the quality. Finding your voice can take years, and while you can seek guidance from others, the ultimate discovery must come from within. The key is to keep expressing yourself, regardless of the outcome.

Now, let’s shift our focus to the act of conversation rather than merely discussing the act of writing.

Section 1.1: The Art of Conversation vs. Writing

In a recent chat with a friend, we explored the contrast between spoken conversation and written communication. As writers, we are adept at carefully crafting our words, ensuring every detail serves a purpose. Each syllable is intentional.

However, this precision is often lost in verbal exchanges, which can be intimidating. I wonder if this is why many of us identify as “introverts.” Are we genuinely introverted, or are we simply fearful of revealing our true selves and how others will respond? Perhaps we are hiding behind the words we can easily revise.

What if we were always truthful? If someone inquired about your evening plans, would you genuinely respond? “I’m heading home from my uninspiring job, planning to watch mindless television, neglect my partner, waste my time on my phone, and wake up regretting it all.”

Most would shy away from such honesty, even if it reflects their reality. This serves as another example of our fear of expressing the truth.

Subsection 1.1.1: Embracing Honesty

Reflecting on this leads me to a film I recall, “Crazy People,” starring Dudley Moore. It was a light-hearted ‘80s film portraying “crazy individuals” who created brutally honest advertisements. Much like the humorous “becoming your parents” commercials from Progressive, the humor stems from truth.

Perhaps one or two of these musings will blossom into something of significance someday—or perhaps not.

As I prepare for a Griswold-style family vacation, my packing is just as chaotic as my thoughts while writing this piece.

Don’t pay me any mind. Just move along. Or perhaps there’s more to discover here.

Chapter 2: Finding Inspiration in the Everyday

This video, titled "The Stand Reading Vlog | Remember when I said I would never read this book?" captures the journey of tackling challenging literature and the realizations that come with it. It embodies the spirit of confronting our fears and discovering ourselves through storytelling.

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