Chapter 1: The Initial Hesitation

For many years, my voice remained unheard by the world. The reason? A profound sense of embarrassment that held me back from expressing myself vocally. It felt utterly impossible to make a sound.

During my high school years, I took up the guitar. The excitement I experienced from playing Guitar Hero had a significant influence on this decision. Even though I managed to learn a few simple chords and songs, I still couldn't bring myself to sing—even to myself. However, my passion for playing guitar led me to create my own melodies and, eventually, songs.

As I transitioned into university, I began incorporating lyrics into my compositions and producing sounds that could be loosely described as singing. It felt less daunting compared to conventional songs, yet I still sang at a very low volume. At least I could feel the air vibrating in front of my mouth. Nevertheless, the presence of others rendered me mute. Instead, I opted to record myself playing guitar and singing, but the playback was far from pleasant. I wondered if I should simply accept that singing wasn't for me.

Then, a light bulb moment struck.

What if my singing was actually good?

Yes, that’s right—what if it was? Our judgment isn't always reliable; perhaps I was mistaken. The sound of my recorded voice seemed terrible to me, but does that necessarily reflect its quality? I found myself pondering philosophically, trying to convince myself.

Many songs that initially sound unappealing can grow on you after a few listens. Similarly, there are foods you think you dislike until you try them in the right setting and discover a newfound appreciation.

Indeed, I had managed to plant seeds of doubt regarding my own judgment.

Gathering my courage, I took a leap…

No, I still didn’t sing in front of others, of course.

Instead, I shared my recordings with close friends. Their responses were generally positive but not overly enthusiastic—“Yeah, it’s good,” they would say. I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of friend would outright say, “Sorry bro, that sucks,” right? They must have been trying to be nice.

Over time, I shared my songs with more friends. Gradually, I began to sing in front of a few people, then a larger audience, and eventually, I felt capable of singing regular songs. I thought, “Maybe I can actually sing.”

Those seemingly small steps took several years to accomplish, aided by some singing lessons along the way. While I can’t claim to be a fantastic singer, I now feel comfortable performing in front of friends without the paralyzing fear that once accompanied the idea.

I even released my first song!

Chapter 2: Embracing the Unexpected

This chapter explores the idea of what could have been—a reflection on alternative paths in creative expression.