Chapter 1: The Night That Changed Everything

Recently, I was reminded that 'going out' purses are still a trend. For clarification, a 'going out' purse is a special accessory designated for social outings, such as nights at clubs or bars, often different from the everyday bags we use for errands.

Reflecting on this made me feel quite old, especially since I haven't stepped foot in a club in over two decades. The resurgence of this concept hit me hard, particularly when I caught myself using the word 'hella.'

As you might guess, I’m not the youngest person in the room anymore. However, the more pressing matter is why I stopped going out in the first place.

It was between 2003 and 2004 when I ventured out with three friends, dressed casually in our typical laid-back west coast fashion, excited for what we thought would be a fun evening. We headed to the bar to grab our first drink. Unlike other nights where we’d pre-game, this time we opted for just one drink.

Little did we know, that drink would be the last one I would consume that night.

He was an incredibly attractive man, impeccably dressed, and had a somewhat serious demeanor. I remember thinking he was out of my league. I was a college student, dressed like a sorority girl—though I wasn’t one—and I couldn’t comprehend why he was interested in me. But I didn't mind; I just wanted to enjoy my night.

He introduced himself and we exchanged basics. I mentioned my college status while he mentioned being a scientist, which struck me as vague. He didn’t ask many questions, yet seemed keen to continue the conversation. I stayed, even though I found it rather dull. He offered me a drink, and his looks were enough to keep me engaged.

I naively didn’t watch him order my drink or bring it to me. I consumed it without a second thought about the risks involved. Young and unsuspecting, I failed to see the danger.

From our introduction to my first few sips, only twenty minutes passed before things began to spiral. I remember my best friend helping me to the bathroom, barely able to stand. I felt embarrassed, aware that people were staring at me, thinking I was just another sloppy drunk, though I wasn’t drunk at all—just incapacitated.

Once in the bathroom, snippets of memory emerged—I remember my friend on the phone, her annoyance palpable, and I struggled to grasp what she was saying. The bathroom décor—dark floral wallpaper—etched itself into my memory.

Eventually, we exited the bathroom, only to find the 'scientist' waiting for us outside. My friend shouted something at him as we rushed past, and I recall crawling into a cab with my friends while he followed us outside.

Then, everything went black.

From that night, I learned several critical lessons:

1. Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off, pay attention to that feeling. I was young and somewhat attractive, yet I was also inexperienced and naïve. His polished appearance was a stark contrast to my more casual demeanor, indicating something was amiss.
2. Stick with Trusted Friends: Only drink in the company of people you trust. You need allies to watch your back when things go awry. I had been separated from my friends, making me an easy target.
3. Be Cautious of Solitary Individuals: While being alone isn’t inherently bad, it raised a red flag for me in a club setting. If someone can’t explain their solitude, it might be worth considering why.
4. Watch for Contradictions: His lack of personal questions about me should have been a warning sign, yet I dismissed it, thinking he was just quirky. The thought of someone having sinister motives didn’t cross my mind back then.
5. Never Leave Your Drink Unattended: This lesson seems obvious, yet I failed to apply it. Always keep an eye on your drink and ensure you see it being prepared.

I made some mistakes that night, but I also gained invaluable insights. I was lucky to have friends who came to my aid. Despite my youthful misjudgments, I’m grateful I never went home with strangers or ventured out alone.

My only regret was not reporting the incident. We didn’t alert the bouncer or the bartender, and I wish we had done something to stop him. My hope is that he learned his lesson and no longer preys on unsuspecting women.

Chapter 2: A Cautionary Reminder

As a further exploration of this topic, I recommend the following videos that highlight the dangers of nightlife and tips on how to stay safe.

A disturbing account of a father who was drugged after unknowingly consuming a drink spiked by a stranger while out with friends.

Learn the signs of being roofied and essential strategies to prevent such situations while enjoying a night out.