Finding Freedom in the Joy of Missing Out: A New Perspective
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Chapter 1: The Burden of Choice
In today's world, we are bombarded with choices at every turn.
“We are a society suffering from an excess of options.”
This statement, attributed to a character from a dystopian novel (Aunt Lydia from A Handmaid's Tale, if you’re curious), rings true in our everyday lives.
Historically, individuals followed well-trodden paths, often mirroring the lives of their parents and grandparents. They remained in the same town throughout their lives, chose similar professions, and married those nearby, rarely questioning their decisions.
Now, in a landscape rich with options—from selecting a brand of tomato sauce to determining our life’s legacy—we find ourselves overwhelmed. While having choices may seem beneficial, it can also lead to confusion and dissatisfaction.
Too Many Choices Can Be Detrimental
In The Paradox of Choice, Barry Schwartz argues that too many options can lead to psychological distress. He notes that modern life’s success comes with a bittersweet edge, as the plethora of choices creates feelings of regret, anxiety about social status, and the relentless pursuit of maximizing our experiences.
Ironically, Schwartz made these observations before the rise of social media, which has introduced a new layer of complexity known as the "Fear Of Missing Out," or FOMO.
Consider this scenario: You come across a friend's social media post showing off their year-long global travels, complete with stunning photos from exotic locations. Suddenly, you may feel a pang of envy or a sense of inadequacy: "Why am I not living that life? I must be behind."
Social media often presents a skewed version of reality, lacking context—Is your friend genuinely happy? This constant comparison can lead to mental exhaustion, as our brains struggle to process the influx of information.
To break free from this cycle of anxiety, we must adopt a new mindset. Enter JOMO, or the "Joy of Missing Out." This concept encourages us to let go of the things we are not doing and to stop comparing our lives to others.
JOMO offers liberation, though it demands a shift in our thinking.
Chapter 2: Embracing JOMO
To truly practice JOMO, we should evaluate the real choices available to us.
Take our globe-trotting friend as an example. It's easy to slip into the mindset of "I should be doing what she's doing," as if we could simply abandon our responsibilities and embark on an adventure at a moment's notice.
This mindset can be paralyzing, placing the burden of a fulfilling life solely on our shoulders. While it’s important to feel a sense of agency, expecting to always make the best choices is unrealistic and exhausting.
Instead, we should aim to make the best decision we can at a given moment, and accept the outcomes that follow.
Consider this thought experiment: If you hadn’t seen your friend’s post on Facebook, would you still feel you were missing out on those experiences?
Counterfactual thinking is a powerful human ability, allowing us to envision possibilities beyond our current reality—be it exploring outer space or finding cures for diseases. Yet, it can also lead to paralysis by overthinking.
Schwartz wisely reminds us of the complexity of life, stating that no single decision has the transformative power we often ascribe to it.
This video, "The Joy of Missing Out: Why We Should Learn to Be Content with What We Have," delves into the importance of embracing JOMO and finding satisfaction in our current lives.
The Importance of Accepting Mortality
Underlying FOMO is a more profound realization: our mortality.
If we were immortal, the urgency of our choices would diminish. However, acknowledging the finite nature of our time can shift our focus towards valuing what truly matters and prioritizing fewer things.
Surrounding ourselves with a multitude of others' choices can create a false sense of possibility, leading us to believe that greater life satisfaction comes from doing more.
JOMO transcends simply not envying others; it involves celebrating their achievements while finding joy in our own lives.
Contemplating our mortality can actually enhance our happiness, providing clarity on what is essential and what is not.
Imagining what could have been may bring a tinge of sadness, yet the ability to imagine is a testament to our humanity. By accepting our paths—both the ones we took and the ones we didn’t—we can cultivate a sense of peace.
In the video "How To Embrace JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out) | Mom & Yogi Hilaria Baldwin," viewers are encouraged to find joy in their unique journeys and embrace the beauty of their choices.