Do You Have the Courage to Embrace Dislike?
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Chapter 1: Embracing Your True Self
For many years, I concealed my authentic self from the world.
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By Mike Kitko
For a long time, I kept my true self hidden from everyone around me. My initial book, The Imposter In Charge, marked one of my first steps toward revealing my genuine identity. In it, I recount various traumas, setbacks, and abuses that both my family and I endured, alongside the heroic journey we embarked on to begin healing from our troubled past.
Since embarking on my path as a "teacher and influencer" in 2016, I have gradually opened up more, which has been an incredibly liberating experience. Through platforms like The Inner Wealth Podcast, social media, and my blogs, I express my current "truth." If that term sounds peculiar, let me clarify.
Have you ever reflected on your life and recognized a belief you once held strongly as "truth," only to find that a decade later, your perspective has shifted? That’s what I mean by current truth. We continuously evolve throughout our lives, and what we once considered truths can become outdated as we gain new insights. For instance, I used to identify as a devout Christian, but I no longer do. I once viewed wealthy individuals as greedy, but my perspective has changed. I previously held extreme right-wing views, but those have shifted too. I also believed that having a job with benefits was essential for stability, but I've since reconsidered. Each of these beliefs were my current truths at the time, only to expire as I evolved. In essence, they were beliefs — not absolute truths. However, they felt undeniably true in the moment.
As I grow in my role as a teacher and influencer, I have become more open to firmly articulating my current truths, understanding that my views may change over time. When I share my perspectives, I do so with conviction, without dismissing others' beliefs as incorrect — I simply stand firm in my own understanding and awareness. However, not everyone appreciates hearing something that challenges their own beliefs — their current truth. With over 8 billion individuals on the planet, it's egotistical to assume that my truth is the only one.
The Courage to be Disliked and Disagreed With
Over the past eight years, I have developed the strength to be disliked and to face disagreement. Looking back at my earlier content, I see that I played it too safe, only sharing ideas that were mainstream and agreeable, in a bid for approval and support. This approach was merely another way of hiding behind non-controversial content. Nothing groundbreaking or innovative emerged from this, which ultimately rendered it less valuable.
Many people are eager for higher-level thoughts and concepts that can help them grow and view the world differently. I aim to reach those individuals, to inspire them towards elevated states of awareness and consciousness. However, by playing it safe, I kept them from recognizing the wisdom I have to share — and yes, I mean wisdom. Each of us possesses a unique form of genius waiting to be expressed through our work — including you. But this genius cannot flourish if you conform to societal norms. True genius emerges through fresh perspectives, innovative approaches, and new methodologies.
To share your genius requires the bravery to be disliked and to face disagreement. In a world of over 8 billion people, when you present something profound and original, there will inevitably be individuals or groups who cling to their current truths and react negatively. It's not a question of if, but rather when. While some people seek growth, many prefer security and resist challenges to their beliefs. Those who are security-oriented want everyone to align with their views, as it reassures them. They are often the first to attack those who step away from the herd, fearing they might be left behind and feeling inadequate as a result.
Yet, when you cultivate the courage to withstand dislike and dissent, remaining steady in the face of criticism without retaliating, and focus on sharing your current truths, you will find that some individuals begin to comprehend your message and explore new possibilities. This is how ordinary individuals like myself can achieve recognition.
The Path to Relevance
I once heard that the journey to becoming a prominent leader in the new-thought movement follows this trajectory: First, they ignore you; then, they laugh at you; next, they get angry and attack you; finally, they recognize the wisdom in your teachings.
I remember experiencing the first two stages of this journey, and I now find joy in the third stage. Recently, I have been discussing a concept I refer to as The 7 Vital Human Resources. Here’s a brief overview of what I cover:
- Self-Love and Authenticity: Embrace and honor every aspect of yourself, showing up authentically to pursue your true desires and talents.
- Connection to the Divine: Recognize that divinity exists within us, and cultivate a powerful relationship with your inner self.
- Health and Energy: Foster a healthy relationship with your mind and body to maintain the energy necessary for a fulfilling life.
- Love and Intimacy: As social beings, we need deep, connected relationships where we can be vulnerable and natural.
- Impact and Significance: Making a positive impact lends meaning to our lives, affirming that our existence matters.
- Wealth and Freedom: In a material world, money is essential for living fully, and generating wealth through our contributions grants us the freedom to experience life.
- Peace and Fulfillment: Embrace deep states of peace, remembering that we are human beings, not just human doings, and avoiding a life of constant busyness.
When I discuss these concepts, some people react negatively. Critics accuse me of being arrogant for advocating self-love, while others consider my view on divinity heretical. Those with a strained relationship with money argue against the necessity of wealth for fulfillment, and "grind gurus" label a focus on peace as laziness.
There will always be adversaries to any belief, as beliefs are subjective filters through which we view the world. However, these beliefs can feel incredibly real, creating our current truths. The real question is: Can you assert what you believe with enough conviction to persuade others to recognize the wisdom in your teachings, without compromising your own beliefs?
This World is Starved for Leadership
People are actively seeking courageous, confident leaders who are willing to forge new paths. They crave higher expressions of knowledge and wisdom, pursuing them daily. However, not everyone possesses the willingness to be seen and disliked enough to gain traction as a leader. Yet, leaders are desperately needed in a world filled with mediocrity.
Regarding social media, I often say: "My supporters boost my bank account, and my detractors enhance my algorithm." In today’s landscape, both are necessary. It truly takes courage to step forward and stand out. A spiritual teacher named Ra Ura Hu once remarked that there are three types of people in this world: leading actors, supporting actors, and those who merely act like furniture. Only the leading actors evoke emotion in the audience and make a name for the film. Which role do you currently play, and which one do you aspire to embody?
Ultimately, are you prepared to stand out from the crowd of individuals who are waiting for you to lead?
The Courage To Be Disliked: Three Key Lessons (Book Summary)
This video summarizes the key lessons from "The Courage to Be Disliked," emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance and resilience in facing criticism.
The Courage to be Disliked (a thought for makers)
In this thought-provoking video, the speaker discusses the necessity of embracing the possibility of being disliked in order to foster creativity and authenticity.
About Mike Kitko
Mike Kitko is a self-mastery coach, speaker, and published author dedicated to helping business owners achieve greater success and happiness. With a background as a Marine and an MBA, he has held executive roles in Fortune 500 companies, yet often felt like an imposter. Regardless of his achievements, he struggled with feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction.
His journey through understanding his mind, body, and emotions led to overcoming challenges such as alcoholism and uncontrolled anger. Today, Mike embodies a vibrant zest for life, confidence, and inner strength that aligns with how others perceive him. He is passionate about helping others find their own success and happiness.